If You Like Piña Colada
by Goddess on a Highway
Summary: Read the marital problems of a crazy dino hunting weasel! Crazy BuckxPineapple story! LOL


**Well who doesn't like a good piña colada? I got the title form a song called Escape from Rupert Holmes. The song is about a couple that learned to love each other again after being tired of each other, well a certain weasel and pineapple (piña) go trough the same crisis. Anyway, sit back and enjoy this one shot. Just random crazy BuckxPineapple stuff. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL**

He woke up alone in bed, with a head full of lead he stumbled out of it. Trying to be quiet for the lady but there she stood. The pineapple with a face drawn on it blocked his way, she looked angry because of his late night out with the boys last night. The boys were a watermelon and a pterodactyl skull. He had sipped from the weird flower's juice again, too much for his own good.

"Hey lass! Nice morning isn't it!" He kissed her on her cheek but she turned away. "What? Is it already noon and I smell like juice?"

The pineapple turned around in disgust. He stood there looking at her back. He turned her around an laughed sheepishly. "Come on, nothing happened, I just had a drink or two." She just stared at him, lifelessly but he saw a whole different expression, one of suppressed anger and jealousy. "Sure there were some fine looking dames but I would never, never cheat on you!"

Now her eyes shot fire, if he had just shut up. "I have a busy job, killing dinoes around the clock! A guy needs a bit fun in life too!" He said offended. The pineapple just rolled away. "Fine just go! I don't need a pineapple to light up my day! I still have friends and enemies!" He walked away in anger.

The pineapple had rolled straight to an oviraptor, the vicious little egg thief looked at it and sniffed. He tried to crack it open but it didn't move. Yet it looked decorative enough to keep.

Meanwhile Buck had wandered around lonely, looking for his friends. First he met the watermelon but he had a date with an avocado and didn't want to be bothered. Then he met the pterodactyl skull who had a deep conversation with a T-Rex skull. Buck looked down sadly, then he had an idea. Maybe Rudy was available. He took his mobile rock to call his pal.

"Aye, Buck here! Long time no see, how's the set of teeth? What? You have an appointment with the dentist? Oh yeah I have one with the eye doctor next week! Yeah the usual stuff, cleaning out the hole to avoid infections. Yeah she's the cute one, the dentist too by the way. A golden tooth? Cool, I'll check it out tomorrow!"

He laid down the rock, even his arch enemy had things to do. Maybe he should return home to see if the lady had cooled down a bit.

Back home, his wife was still gone. No note or anything, she didn't packed her bags so she didn't leave him for good. No divorce papers or anything, then were was she? He licked the earth under his feet. "Yeah, a certain kind of exotic fruit had rolled here, weird hair cut, female, yeah that's my lass!"

He went further in the direction she rolled until he'd found her in the arms of the oviraptor. "Woah woah, lassy! What are you doing with that guy?" The oviraptor hissed angrily at him, he wasn't willing to give up the pineapple without a fight. He jumped forwards to attack Buck but Buck was faster and leaped away in time. "So you're messing around with my wife?!" Buck exclaimed angrily. He threw a lasso around the dino's feet to make him drop. The raptor shrieked angrily and clawed at him but before he had the chance to harm Buck, he fell onto his snout.

Buck turned around and wiped his paws. "That's that! Let's go lass!" The pineapple was gone. "Lass? Are you still mad at me?" He yelled but she didn't response. He went home with hanging paws, only to find that she had packed her bags and left a note: "I'm going to my mother until you learned to behave like a proper husband, no more juice for you mister!" His jaw dropped, he never knew a pineapple could actually write.

He had to face his mother in law again, no way he would face her. Maybe she wasn't the woman for him after all. He paced around, not knowing where to go until he found a bar where they sold his beloved juice. Though he ordered some he only stared at his glas, well it was actually a half pineapple. He almost shed a tear until he saw the fine looking coconut on his left.

"What? Why I look so sad? The usual fight with the lady! You're not like that? Then how are you exactly? You really don't mind me hanging with the boys after a long workday? I wish my lady wouldn't mind, now she left me for an oviraptor! An oviraptor! The ones with the cockscomb! They steal eggs all day, that's not much of a living to support your family! You like the eye patch? Well it happened several years ago, I was new here in town...." After he had told the whole story the coco nut still lied there, but too him she looked impressed.

"I guess I should go home now!" Buck said while he let himself slide from his chair. "Go home with you?! Hey I'd love to lass but I'm a married guy!" Buck said, staggering on his paws. "Good night then!" He said, trying to shake the pushy coconut away from him. "All right I'll bring you home but that's it!" He carried the coconut home but before he got there he found his pineapple. He dropped the coco nut immediately and ran to her. He took her in his paws and hugged her.

"Oh lassy, I missed you so much! Let's go home now! What? Oh the coconut, it's not what you think!" He said still wobbling on his paws. She tried to get away from him and fell on the ground. "What do you mean? I still haven't learned? Will you give me at least one chance? What about the oviraptor?" The pineapple rolled awa, down the hill to splatter into a million pieces.

"Lass! Lassy?" Buck yelled panicky. Suddenly he woke up in bed with his beloved pineapple in his arms, he kissed her softly on the cheek and turned around to get a little more sleep but on the other side of him lied the coconut.

"I really should stop drinking that juice!" He said. "Better check on Rudy!" He jumped out of bed for another day of dino hunting.

Meanwhile the oviraptor sneaked into his room and stole the coconut and pineapple, he opened both of them and joined the delicious juices mixed up together.

**LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL**

**Ok, that was weird! I don't know where that came from! Better stay away from the piña coladas, lol! Anyway, if you didn't notice yet... I am crazy but Buck's crazy too. **


End file.
